There’s a proven correlation between retirement and isolation. Studies have tied isolation and loneliness to a 50 percent increased risk of developing dementia, a 30 percent increase in developing coronary artery disease or stroke, and a 26 percent increase in overall mortality risk. Social interaction has numerous benefits, particularly as we age, yet not everyone wants to be constantly connected.
Throughout much of our lives, people identify as an introvert or an extrovert—or perhaps the lines blur to an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert. Regardless, there are shades of social preference. We’re all different, and it’s okay to be fulfilled by different levels of social interaction.
Yet when we talk about life in retirement, much of the conversation centers around the countless social clubs and activities. So, what happens to those of us who don’t need—or necessarily want—an endless parade of social interaction and activity? What if you don’t want to be a social butterfly in retirement?
The active adults community conundrum
While statistics show the majority of older adults want to age in place, for many, that means downsizing—possibly to an active older adults community with graduated levels of care. Many of these communities advertise beautiful living accommodations alongside a number of amenities that often include on-site fitness facilities and classes, clubs and social committees, and a seemingly endless schedule of social activities.
Some adults find the promise of built-in connections a clear draw. But if you’re on the other side and prefer to not be a social butterfly, that same active social calendar could cause aversion. Don’t let it.
Encouraged but not required
Communities advertise and offer the busy social calendar because they know the importance of connection. But just because there’s a full calendar available doesn’t mean that anyone expects you to be involved in every activity. In fact, in most cases, doing so would be impossible.
Know that there’s no requirement or minimum level of commitment. They want their residents to participate because doing so comes with physical and mental health benefits that keep them engaged, happy, and healthy. But also, no one will force you to do anything you truly don’t want to. Bottom line: don’t let a promoted calendar scare you away.
Don’t over (or under) commit
If you know you don’t want to force being a full-on social butterfly, the worst thing you can do is take an all or nothing approach. If you refuse to get involved at all, you’ll miss out on the benefits of connection as well as ease of turning your new house into a home. On the other side of the coin, don’t try to do it all.
When you first move in, take stock of available options. Consider those tied to hobbies and interests you already have. Maybe, identify one or two you’d like to try out. Then commit to going at least three times before you decide.
Create your own comfort
Everyone needs people. If you don’t like big groups, find small group activities. Reach out one on one. You don’t have to do something every day, but know that the activities exist should you want them. And you always have something—and someone—waiting for you should you want to attend.
